Is there anybody out there ?

This piece is not related to extra terrestrials. Now that we have that thought out of the way, lets see what this actually is about. Nothing in particular. Actually, it is particularly about that feeling of complete helplessness that engulfs you when nothing goes your way. Whatever you do, wherever you turn - there is always something or someone who is one step ahead of you. And those whom you've always trusted to make you feel good, even at a time like this, have stranded you. You are captured by your own thoughts that bind you stronger than the bars of a cell of any self respecting penitentiary. You want to convince yourself that this is just one of those days (or weeks, or eternities) that nothing is meant to go your way. That times like these are necessary to maintain the normal cosmic balance. Not too much happiness , not too much sorrow.

But who listens to you ? Not you, of course. You are the one that listens to that one droning, tireless voice that keeps on telling you that you are not good enough, that however much you try you can never get to where you want to. You are intrinsically flawed. Why do you listen to that voice ? Why does it have the power to influence you ?

Do you have an answer ? Do you have any clue as to why things are the way they are ? Is there any one who can solve this puzzle ?

I'm lost.

Busy Bee

Was really busy the past two days...movies to see (TaRaRumPum : Okay types, nothing to write home about though it gives an idea of the racing tracks to the common Indian AUDIENCE- replete with a whole lot of masala and the drama Bollywood is great at potraying..really cute kids though).. weddings to attend ..lots of hanging out to be done...will be back with a "real" post soon enough. Want to.

The end of Innocence

“Gather around children …let me tell you a story. A tale of kings and warriors brave. Of beautiful princesses and scheming witches. Of a glorious land …far far away.” When I was a child I loved listening to stories. It was something you could bribe me with. I was told to be a good girl and finish my food quickly- if I did I would be told a story. My favourite ones were those that involved royalty, though I was also partial to the ones in which animals seemed to have long conversations with each other in human languages. I loved listening to them when I was about to go to sleep. They gave me a reason to dream. Whatever the subject might be, I was always an eager listener and badgered my grandfather to tell me more and more. He always obliged and I gleefully immersed myself in a world of imagination. A world where nothing needed to make sense to make you happy. But somehow it always did. It made sense to the little girl who loved to live in this world.

As time went on, I left the tales of childhood behind and started paying more attention to growing up. There were classes to attend, exams to write, courses to complete. No time left for childish yarns. But those tales will always hold a special meaning for me, will always have a special place in my heart.

You know, I noticed something. My cousins and other children some years younger to me didn’t share my love for stories. They just didn’t have the time or the inclination. They had the TV and the computer to amuse them. And video games. Even books took a backseat when compared to New Age entertainment.

I will call these children unlucky. They can never know what it is to sit down and listen to someone introduce you to new people, new villages and cities, new ideas, new worlds and new galaxies- while you haven’t even moved an inch. You’ll say – that’s what the Internet does, or the TV. Yes, that is what they do. But have you thought about it this way? The internet, while it has opened a new vista of information to all of us, has severely undermined the power of imagination. The TV has brought the world inside our homes. That’s why children don’t go out to their backyards. All of this has put an end to childish innocence. That’s what’s wrong with them. A child is supposed to know what curiosity is. What it is to discover new things. Even if that includes how many types of bugs infest their gardens or how many fruits are on the tree across the street. But no. Today’s competitive world expects children to be geniuses. Each and every one of them. The right of enjoying childhood in the true sense of the term is being denied them. They are being forced to grow up before their time. That is what we have become.

Its not for me to decide whether its for the better or not. I’m just someone who doesn’t agree with it. That’s my side of the story and I’m sticking to it.

Adwitee, Blogger !

Hello there.

I don’t quite know how to begin my blog. I haven’t even decided what it’s going to be about. I’m not too bothered about it though. I’m sure the mystery will unravel itself as I go on. For the moment let me just tell you that this seems to be a good moment as any to start one. I’ve just completed my graduation. And I have lots of free time – more than I know what to do with it. And since my 4 year stretch in the hostel has ended I feel that this is the perfect time to start something new. Let the end show the beginning... or something of that sort.

Let me tell you I’m old fashioned when it comes to writing. I love the feel of a pen in my hand. And the rustling sound that paper makes. Music to my ears, that. Writing has always had a cathartic effect on me. So this is sort of an adventure. Strange as it may sound ‘typing’ my thoughts down is like exploring a new realm –I’m more inclined towards penning them down. Stranger still because my future ‘work’ (doesn’t that seem grown up??) involves spending a lot of time in front of the comp screen.

What do you do when you find yourself longing for something that’s gone now but never really attracted you too much when it actually was there? Or you thought it didn’t. That’s how I feel about leaving the place that has been home to me for the past 4 years. The four years that I spent there have been an eye-opener. If it were a course that one took in college it would be named something like “An Introduction to the Inner Mind of Me “. I didn’t want to go in. I never wanted to stick around. I longed for the haven of my bedroom in my house with a novel in my hand and something to chomp on right next to me. I didn’t want to argue about which table or shelve I wanted or when the lights would go out in the room so that one could get a good night’s sleep. I didn’t think Maggi was food and I didn’t think applying a face-pack was an all important task that required a great deal of precision. No. None of that was for me. But you know what ? What I didn’t know was that while I had to deal with a lot of stuff I didn’t want to deal with, these years gave me things that I was better off having. For instance, where else would I have met 100 different types of people and learn to respect each one’s point of view, deciding whom to believe and what to believe? I always thought that getting where you want to is all that mattered. But I did not know how it was to watch people do that and more- at the same time getting the most out of life. I did not know how it felt to lie awake all night talking about dreams and destinations. I did not know how to turn Coffee into a survival tool or how to cook gourmet Fried Rice in a small saucepan. I did not know how much fun it would be having your dinner sitting on a ledge 5 storeys high. And I surely did not know how wonderful it was to hold a friend’s hand while dancing madly in the rain. Now I do. All that and loads more.

I made friends, yes. Made a lot of them, actually. Lost some along the way. But found the best one I’ve ever had. Looking at it another way, I found something I wouldn’t like to let go of. Ever. My interpretation of the word called Freedom. The freedom to mess up as badly as you can and as many times you can and coming out of it yourself with a little advice and help from friends . All the while learning from your experiences. It was a time to broaden my horizons. To learn and experience new things. Not all the moments were pleasant. Nor were all of them unpleasant. And now it’s over and done with. All I’m left with are a whole lot of memories in my store.

That’s all there is … There isn’t any more.